FACEBOOK: The Cream Always Rises :)

Facebook is a funny place.

Virtual as it may be it is still a well traveled destination. I have been traveling there since near the beginning and was quick to embrace the reestablishment of friendships I’ve lost as well as those misplaced over the years.  In the beginning, it was just love and hugs for those lost souls I was reconnecting with and a cheerful place designed to help friends relive some good memories.  Fun, fun and double fun.

And then it happened.

Facebook began to cultivate drama and crankiness.

The craziness of the virtual friendship shop started to do some wicked stuff.  The friends I thought were tried and true tarnished a bit.  Some people even used Facebook as a platform to splatter meanness across walls.  I started to remember that some of the people I added as friends were not very friendly at all.  It threw me a bit at first but then I remembered, they were simply being themselves.  And, if I started to recall our history with more accuracy,it was then that I remembered…they were just as unkind as they had been once upon a time… many moons ago.  Age and life had taught them little.  I finally understood that people do not change and, these “friends” reminded me of who they had always been.  The part that I started to finally learn was that, most of the time, people simply become MORE of who they are as they age.

The flashy friends were still all that and more, as self absorbed and inconsiderate as they had ever been.  The mean girls were still mean and they had gained not one iota of kindness in their travels.  On the other hand, people who were good and kind and considerate “back in the day” had not changed a bit either.  They were just as loving and sweet as they had ever been.  The really crazy fun part of Facebook, that surprised the heck out of me, was that some of the friends that I was not as close with, perhaps friends from older and younger class years than myself, became some of the most treasured friend discoveries I have made.  Some of them became the best friends of all.

Facebook may take a lot of hits and it certainly has its detractors but, for me, I find it is a good way to stay in touch, it provides a network for parents at home and it is also a good indicator of the friendship value.  Occasionally, as the cream rises and the chaff falls, friends behave badly, out themselves and show you who needs to be culled.  It’s not that they are bad people but sometimes friendships no longer fit and that is okay too.  There is value in growth.  I am thankful for that as well.

I keep my friends list small, I have never understood the value of high counts, and I appreciate the 254 friends and family I keep on my wall.  They are actually very treasured people in my life.  I occasionally peruse my list to make sure the list I keep reflects the value I seek in my life.  Without value, without kindness, friends are unapologetically culled when moments call for it.   I respectfully reserve that right.

Say what you like, detract if you must but I will assure you that the 254 treasures that comprise the faces on my wall are exactly that…treasures, and, in their own way, each one adds value to my life.  Whether it is because they are a treasured part of my history, a warm part of my memories, a part of my present or a key to the future I am building…I appreciate each and every one.

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2 responses to “FACEBOOK: The Cream Always Rises :)

  1. The drama of fb really shocks me. What is most surprising are the grown adults with professional careers and families who spew hatefulness. I spend a lot of time scrolling through my news feed with a raised eyebrow at some things made public to the world wide web.

    I have found similiar value in fb, in that I can keep up with my friends and family. I do not go to the church where I grew up. Throgh FB I keep up with friends that I grew up with that I don’t get to see regularly. I keep up with 2 of my best friends that moved away (one moved across the country!). FB allows me to keep up with their kids and with them. I cherish what can be done through fb, but I am also sad for the negative it brings.

  2. That is exactly what I have found! It has been a really wonderful tool with some friends to be able to keep in closer touch much easier. We have gone from exchanging Christmas cards once a year to actually keeping in touch on a weekly basis with messages and pics. It’s been outstanding. I spent a lot of time living in the Midwest and East Coast and FB has allowed me to keep in closer touch with old neighbors than I have ever been able to before.
    On the other hand, some friends have turned out to be not very kind and it has been a sad reality that I have had to set some very old friends free. Friends that date back to childhood. All in all, facebook is good for me as long as I steer clear of any drama or unkindness :).
    I’m so glad you have been able to keep up with your best friends on FB. It makes such a difference!! I wish we had this capability years ago. It would have been so much easier to tolerate the moving and saying good bye to friends if I could have just said, “I’ll see you on FB!”

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