Come on over :)

Hello to you…

If I were a more tech savvy girl, I would not have to up and move.  I know there once was a way to keep the blog but change the name but, being the old fashioned and stubborn girl I am ….it eluded me.

So, I am going to stay on wordpress but am blogging under “Wisdom from the Sisterhood”.  Some of you have already come to visit…thank you.  I love the community we have here, I love what I learn from you all and I love the sharing that we do.  So don’t be a stranger, come on over.  And, you know, if I could serve up some cupcakes to you…I sure would.  I will put up recipes though :).

Hope to see you sooooon!

j

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Oh so true!! :)

Oh so true!!  :)

This is not my art, I found it on Pinterest, but I love it and I am sharing it because I think it’s a good thought to remember. If anyone wants it taken down, just say the word. It’s just so lovely to share the good stuff.

All Boy…

All Boy...

I call it boy brain…all things boy that make them what they are. With their boy brain wiring, my boys make me LAUGH out loud and I marvel at their originality and their fearlessness. This is on one of our jaunts back to visit the family farm in Mississippi. Wide open spaces, lizards, snakes, blueberries to pick, dirt to cover with and a whole lot of creative trouble to stir up :)….and there were NO broken bones.

Autism Humor: “Mom, I’m A HOARDER!”

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My son had trouble going to sleep last night. Not an unusual occurrence for him due to the meds we take but I still like to nip it in the bud.  I could hear noises coming from the room and, as I stepped in, I saw he had started to clean.  The cleaning part was unusual.  Normally I’d find him with a Nintendo hidden under his pillow so I was at first happy to see he was just cleaning.  Nonetheless, I told him it was time to sleep.

A few minutes later, he emerged from his room, and before I can usher him back to his bed he says, “Mom, I can’t sleep. I think I’m a hoarder.”

Trying not to laugh out loud, I tell him, “Buddy, how do you even know that word?” to which he replies, “I heard it at school and I think I am because I won’t get rid of my toys.”

I hid my smile and said, “You are not a hoarder, my friend, and I know that because I can still see the floor in your room and your toys all still live in your bins. When I can’t see your floor anymore, we’ll talk. Until then, you’re okie dokie and not a hoarder.”

“Really?”He asked me with the last of his voice landing in a very high pitch and giving sound to his utter shock.

“Yep,” I told him, “Really and truly.”

Relieved, that at least for the time being he is not a hoarder after all, the boy was able to sleep.

Boy Brain and The Undies Fairy

Parenting is not easy.

Some days are definitely easier than others.  Sometimes it flows with sweetness and light and other times it feels like it takes actual rocket science to really understand the dynamics at work with kids.  On some choice days, it feels like combat and, personally, I find fourth grade homework combat to be the worst.

Lately, after nearly fifteen years of parenting, the parenting vault has kindly open one of it’s windows to me.  Stuff I probably should have caught on to a long time ago but I was too busy doing it my own way to really take notice.  Parenting stuff that I have listened to others quote for years but that never quite sunk into my brain.  Yesterday, I got it…the truth that hit me like a brick wall …drumroll please…here goes…

The TRUTH is: Sometimes you have to let go of the rule book and choose your battles.  I know, I know…totally simple and you’ve heard it too but, really and truly, The Undies Fairy is proof that it is true!

My youngest son, the non-autistic-sports-oriented-boy-brained-wild-man I am raising, stopped wearing underwear shortly after he earned the right to have them.  He was out of diapers at three and then by four or five (I am not good with exact days.  Unfortunately, my brain is not that good anymore) my boy went on strike.  No underwear would grace the inside of his clothing for five more years.  At the time, thinking I was the mom and I could win the battle, I even went out and bought all the most sought after character undies.  We bought Pirates of the Caribbean, Toy Story, Ben 10, Thomas the Tank Engine, Spider Man, Batman, Star Wars, Iron Man, Transformers, The Hulk…you name, we owned it.  But, despite my temptations and mild bribery, he would have nothing to do with the wearing of undergarments.

My boy went commando. I will tell you with complete honesty that a five year old commando is hard to explain to the pediatrician.

In kindergarten, he and I even had an intellectual conversation as to why he did not want to wear them and I asked him to try once more…to which he replied, “Mom, I’ve tried, but they sweat me.”  The doctor tried to appeal to his pain aversion by telling him stories of peepers stuck in zippers.  My significant other appealed to him from a chaffing point of view.  I even appealed to him from a sports point of view.  What if another child tackled you a little hard and held on a little too tight?  He is a very active and skinny boy and it wouldn’t take much for his pants to slide right down and EXPOSE all his assets!  He cut me off at the pass and nonchalantly assured me he’d wear a belt and cinch it up tight.  His logic didn’t stop me though and I didn’t give up.  Instead, I bought briefs, boxers and even boxer briefs but the boy was staunch in his decision to remain commando.  He would have nothing to do with any of the styles I offered.  Not even Sponge Bob or Captain America!  Commando remained and I finally gave in to his choices last summer when I threw all the still packaged undies into a bag for Goodwill.  I was certain some child would appreciate the depth of characters and style options we’d invested in.

And, then it happened.  Last week, The Underwear Fairy visited my boy.  Thank you, Underwear Fairy!  My boy, out of the blue, asked me to buy him some boxers.  BOXERS!!  Yes, mom did a happy dance quietly inside my own head and, of course, since we had tossed all our old boxers, we went shopping at Target so he could choose some cool NEW ones.  His older sister, in an odd turn of events as I stood back watching the scene unfold, even helped him pick out the “cooler” colors.

This morning has been BLISS as I pridefully watched him head off to school in his turquoise and black plaid “cool colored” boxers.  No one else may know he is wearing them and no one else may understand what a momentous day this in my life…but I do and I will continue to do my happy dance…out loud now that the kids have gone.  I will continue to beam until he walks back in the door after school and I can casually see if he kept them on or if they are missing. Hidden I would guess in the boys bathroom trash can if I had to guess.

The really big lesson learned from The Underwear Fairy is that I realized I could have given up the fight years ago.  I wasted a lot of time, energy and grief with my own rule book about what kids are SUPPOSED to do.  I never really needed to stock his drawers (totally unintentionally but funny nonetheless) with every character known to children.  It wasn’t worth one minute of the struggle I put into it and all the struggle in the world didn’t change it one bit. In his own time he made the choices that were right for him.

The boy will be who he will be and he won’t be like all the other kids and that is okay.  When he wants to conform he will and when he doesn’t…well…he won’t and that is just who he is.  PERIOD.  We are not a family who always follows the rule book so I am not sure why it has taken me so long to figure this one out.  Autism has taught us that particular lesson and the whole family benefits from that kind of hard fought autism wisdom.  And, yes, Mom is sometimes the last one to get it but, eventually, the brick wall lands hard on my head and it finally sinks in.  The parenting journey is just as much about learning to be better parents as it is about teaching kids right and wrong.  So please don’t be like me and make The Undies Fairy waste a perfectly good brick wall on your noggin too.  Just wait for it and let your child grow and be who they are.  It might intersect with who you want them to be and it might not but every child will be the unique individual they were meant to be if we step out of the way and let them be!

Thank you Underwear Fairy :).